Being released August 2014
You can read the first chapter now…
The night was coming to a close and Matt was enjoying holding Cassie in his arms as they swayed together on the dance floor. He held her close as he gently nuzzled at her nape. They were a perfect fit. Although she was tall at just over 5’8, her head rested just below his shoulder. He only had to bend his head to whisper in her ear. He breathed in deeply, God he loved the smell or her. The light floral scent of the shampoo she had used mingled with the smell of her arousal and he was looking forward to taking her home to bed.
“I love the outfit, Sweetheart,” he murmured, his hands caressing up and down her back, “but I can’t wait to get you out of it.” Before she could reply, he continued, keeping his voice low as he whispered in her ear, “Mind you, I think I’ll let you keep the shoes on. Love the idea of fucking you in high heels.” Christ he’d been fantasizing about it all evening. He was still wondering if the sheer stockings she wore were, in fact, stockings or tights. Was she wearing a garter belt? Shit, he sure hoped so.
She blushed in response to his teasing and glanced around the room as if to see if anyone had overheard his heated comments. As her eyes widened in arousal, he pulled her a little bit closer.
They had spent a lovely evening having dinner at the local Italian restaurant with another couple, Zack and Emma, old college friends who had married while still at college. During the evening, Zack and Emma had announced that they were expecting their first child. Amid the excitement and baby talk, Emma had joked that it would be he and Cassie’s turn next. Matt sure hoped so. He would like nothing more than to settle down with Cassie and start a family. Unfortunately, they still had one major obstacle to overcome. He just hoped she didn’t bring it up again tonight and spoil the mood.
“You’ve been teasing and driving me mad all night. When we get home, I’m going to make you scream for me. I love watching you come!” he teased.
“Oh yes,” she whimpered, closing her eyes. “Love the idea enough to play a little?” she asked softly.
Shit! He stopped dancing, unable to get his feet to move as he tried to damp down his irritation. He held her close, and she had also stilled, as if she were waiting for his answer. “Oh, Cassie,” he groaned, “let’s not go down that road again!”
“What’s so wrong with wanting to experiment a little?” she wriggled sensually against him, tempting him, but he felt her tense up. He felt like a bastard. He knew she was upset, he just wished to goodness he understood what it was she really wanted. Her need to experiment was starting to cause a rift in their relationship. He wished she would just open up a bit more and explain to him exactly what she hoped to achieve with role-play.
He pulled her closer, letting her feel his erection, and was gratified when he heard her soft moan of surrender as she rubbed herself in a slow grinding motion against him. Oh man, was she tempting him.
“What’s so wrong with what we have?” he cupped her bottom, pulling her up hard against his thighs as his hands slid sensually against the silk of her dress.
Disappointment crashed over Cassie. It didn’t matter that she had made an effort dressing to please him; she wasn’t going to be able to tempt him to indulge her. What was wrong with trying to bring a little spice to their love life? She had talked to her friends and a lot of them indulged in a little role-play. The romance novels she read were full of it. She nibbled her lip, worried that perhaps he just didn’t fancy her enough.
“Nothing’s wrong, but I don’t understand why you don’t want to play a little.” She lifted her head and looked him straight in the eye. “It’s not like I’m asking you to beat me or anything. I just want to try a little role-play!”
“If there’s nothing wrong with what we have, why do you feel the need to play silly games?”
She pulled out of his arms as she fought to hide her tears. She held herself rigid as she tried to contain her anger. How dare he call her ideas silly? Why couldn’t he understand?
“Well, I don’t think they are silly,” she returned snappily.
“Of course, they’re silly, Cassie.” He stepped back and raked his fingers through his hair, exasperation showing in every feature. “I’m not playing games with you.” His tone was unequivocal. “I love you. I want to make you happy. I just can’t see me dressing up in some stupid outfit pretending to be someone I’m not. Why would you want that?” He stared at her.
“Role-play is meant to be exciting, to add a bit of spice.” She returned defiantly. “In some of my romance novels–”
“So now you’re saying I’m boring in bed!”
She was getting angrier by the minute. Of course she didn’t mean that. Why was he deliberately turning things around? The evening was going all wrong. She reached out to grab his hands.
“No I’m not!” she returned quickly. “All I’m saying is that I don’t see any harm in experimenting a little! I just don’t understand why you won’t even try.” Christ, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt his feelings, but he just wasn’t listening to her.
Matt grabbed her hand and steered her away from the dance floor. “Let’s go,” he said. He sure as hell wasn’t having this conversation in the middle of a public place. They bade a goodnight to their friends and he hailed a cab.
Cassie sat at the opposite end of the cab seat. He was irritated that she’s chosen to sit apart from him, but he was also annoyed with himself because he knew he’d disappointed her. Why had she had to bring the subject of role play up tonight when they had been having so much fun? Why did it mean so much to her? Damned if he knew!
They didn’t call him the ‘problem solver’ at work for nothing. On the ride back to Cassie’s place, he made up his mind to get her to open up, to talk to him about what she really wanted. If he understood exactly what it was she wanted then he could set about solving their problem.
He watched her closely as her delicate brow puckered and she nibbled softly on her lower lip, her thoughts obviously troubling her. He only hoped it didn’t mean that she was having second thoughts about their relationship. His hands clenched at his sides and his jaw tensed at just the thought of losing her. He was going to make her sit down and talk to him as soon as they were alone.
They had practically grown up together with their families being neighbors, he had watched her go through her teens dating other boys and not even seeming to notice that he was around. It wasn’t until she had started working at the same design company as he did, that she had appeared to see him as something other than the boy next door. His work as an architect meant he was often out on site; whereas, her role as a buyer within the company meant they didn’t cross paths often within the office. However when they did cross, he had done everything in his power to make sure that she connected with him. It had taken him nearly six months of office repartee to pluck up the courage to ask her out.
They had now been dating for nearly ten months, and he had seriously been thinking about proposing. However if they couldn’t get over this role-play issue, then he didn’t think it was going to happen. He loved her and he wanted nothing more than to make her happy.
He hoped that when he sat her down to talk about her desire to role-play, he could make her understand his reluctance.
The cab pulled to a stop outside her apartment and as Matt followed her up to her door, he couldn’t help but notice how rigid she held herself as she marched up the path. He had a feeling that the evening was still going downhill. He was going to have to do something drastic to rescue it. Not only was the night going down the tubes, he had a feeling their relationship was going to bottom out fairly soon unless he did something to save it. He didn’t want their relationship to end. He knew he could make her happy again if she just gave him the chance. Trouble was she was in such a bad mood now, he didn’t know if she would take a chance on him.
He grimaced as he resigned himself to the thought that he would have to give this role-play thing a try. How the hell he was going to convince her that he was getting into the idea when he was still skeptical there was no aspect of role-play he liked, he wasn’t sure. He would have to tread carefully. Maybe if he agreed to try a little role-play tonight, he could coax her back into a better mood. He took the key from her hand and crowded her against the door as he reached over her shoulder to unlock the door to her apartment. He rubbed himself against her bottom, underlining his need for her and reminding her that he was still there, still wanted her.
Cassie could hardly wait to get into her apartment. She felt like crying, she was so disappointed. How could he possibly think that she still wanted to make love to him tonight? How dare he rub himself up against?
“Matt, go and sit down in the living room,” she threw over her shoulder as he followed her into the apartment, “and I’ll go and make us a coffee.”
“I’ll help.” He started to follow her down the hall, toward the kitchen.
“No, please.” She turned and pointed towards the living room, “Just go and sit down, I need a few moments alone.” She walked away from him, and he was left with no choice but to do as she asked.
She needed a few minutes to get her act together or else she was going to end up losing her temper. As she walked into the kitchen, she rubbed the back of her neck, trying to ease the tension she could feel in her muscles. Why could he not understand that she was trying to bring them closer? Every time she raised the subject of role-play he rejected it out of hand; she never would have believed that he would be so ‘straight’ and unwilling to experiment. She’d thought all men wanted a bit of spice.
Why did he persist in seeing her desires as silly? In all the erotic romance books she read the couples engaged in role-play; the eroticism in some of the stories had really turned her on. Stories of a tall, handsome Dom pleasuring his adoring submissive really got her juices flowing. All she wanted to do was act out some of these roles with Matt playing the role of the Dom. She wasn’t really trying to change him. The way things were going, it didn’t look like she was going to get the chance.
As she moved around the kitchen, preparing their coffee, she had time to think about their relationship. He was the ideal partner for her in many ways; they had similar backgrounds and held the same values, so why did she feel like there was something missing? Why couldn’t she settle for what they had? You know why? Her conscience kicked in.
Reading romances filled with Domination and submission had turned her on more than she’d thought possible. Just the thought of letting Matt take complete charge and submitting totally to him, filled her with sexual craving. A craving so intense she wanted to experience the submissive role for real.
Matt escaped to the living room, feeling like he had been granted a reprieve. He felt lousy because he knew she was upset and it was his fault, because he wouldn’t agree to her request to try a little role-play. He knew he needed to make it up to her, he just wasn’t sure how. When he had tried to rub himself up against her at the door, an action that would normally have been well received, she had stiffened her spine and pulled away from him. She was obviously still upset with him.
He hated disappointing her. He could have indulged her desire for role play if she’d picked different roles for him but she always seemed to pick controlling abusive roles for him to play. He just couldn’t imagine himself ever spanking her hard, which is what she had asked for one night when she wanted him to play a headmaster. He didn’t want to hurt her. He wanted to pleasure her. If he remembered correctly, that night had ended up in an argument, with him back at his own apartment.
A few minutes later Cassie entered the living room, two coffee cups balanced on a tray which she placed on the coffee table in front of him.
“Help yourself. I’m going to get changed.” She spun on her heel, turning her back on him.
Oh, no. He wasn’t going to make it that easy for her to avoid their problem. Leaping from his chair, Matt grabbed her by the wrist as she went to sweep away from him.
“Not so fast, Sweetheart.” He pulled her toward him so that he could look into her eyes. “If trying this role-play idea means so much to you, we’ll give it a go.”
He wasn’t sure he was going to be able to give her what she wanted, but he couldn’t stand seeing her miserable and he couldn’t contemplate the thought of losing her.
“Really?” Her eyes lit up with excitement; he was surprised it meant so much to her.
“Really.” He gathered her close to kiss her hard, his tongue thrusting inside her mouth as he stroked around her recess. God, he loved the taste of her. Her arms sneaked around his waist pulling him in closer. He ground his growing erection against her soft mound. She moaned and whimpered the kitten-like sounds at the back of her throat he loved to hear.
He pulled back slowly, breathing hard. “So what role do you want me to play tonight?” he asked, praying that she didn’t ask him to play the headmaster again.
“Hmm… let me think a minute.” As she deliberated, her eyes glowed with excitement. A light flush washed over her face and her nipples started to peak through the silk bodice of her dress.
He prayed she’d choose a role that he could feel the same level of anticipation about, as he waited to hear what she had planned for him. He wished he could look inside her head and work out exactly what it was that excited her so much.
“Don’t take too long.” He took her hand and rubbed it gently across the front of his pants, letting her feel how turned on he was. “I’m just about ready to burst.”
“Right… okay, let’s see.” He held his breath, wary of what she was going to suggest.
“You pretend to be the landlord come to collect my late rent. Of course I haven’t got the rent money, I’m so poor, you see.”
He had trouble swallowing. Another abuser role and he could see exactly where she was heading with it. He just hoped he could pretend to get into the role enough to convince her.
Her smile was wicked as she continued, “You have to demand sexual favors in lieu of the rent payment. How does that sound?” she looked at him hopefully.
How did that sound? Awful, sleazy, like I’m some kind of Victorian pervert come to demand his wicked way. Crap, why did she always pick such lousy roles? Where was the romance in acting a scumbag? It was bloody stupid, but he wasn’t going to say that to her.
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” Her idea of role-play sure as hell wasn’t doing a lot for him.
“Yes, I’m sure.” Her eyes were bright with excitement.
He had to at least try and persuade her to try and choose a less abusive role.
“Look, Cassie,” he pleaded, “do you not fancy trying something more traditional? Some thing a bit more…” he paused as he searched for the right word, “romantic?” His tone hardened, “A bit less abusive?”
“What are you saying? I haven’t asked you to do anything abusive.” She was looking at him warily, as if she expected him to back out at any minute. “What kind of role are you thinking of?”
“Christ, I don’t know.” He paced, thinking for a few moments before turning back to her, “How about a boss and his secretary? Or a pirate and his captive?”
She was shaking her head, negating his suggestions. “Nope, don’t fancy either of those.”
“I’m not sure I can do this, Cassie. You always seem to pick abusive roles. I just can’t get turned on by them.”
“Well, you were turned on plenty when we got home!” Her tone was a combination of disappointment and belligerence and he could feel another row brewing. Were they ever going to be able to agree on this issue?
He held up his hands in surrender, hoping to avoid a repeat of their previous arguments.
“Well, it’s your choice. Still sure that’s the role you want me to play?” he asked, one last time.
“Certain,” she returned curtly.
“Fine, Honey, if that’s what turns you on.” The idea sure as hell didn’t do a lot for him. He classed himself as gentleman. No real man would demand sexual favors in return for payment.
“Okay, you go outside and knock on the door and I’ll let you in as the ‘landlord’.” She giggled as she re-opened the front door.
Oh, Shit. He couldn’t believe he’d agreed to play along!
It was clear Cassie could hardly contain her excitement. As she smoothed her hands down her body, lingering lightly on her breasts to rub her fingers over her already tightening nipples she wriggled as though she could already feel the muscles of her sex starting to pulse with excitement and she was panting softly as she waited for the game to begin. Seeing her become so turned on made him determined to try and get it right this time. He really wanted to make her happy.
Wanting to make her happy, didn’t make him feel any less of an idiot as he stood on the front step knocking at the door. He looked around furtively hoping none of the neighbors were about.
“Who’s there?” Cassie called from inside the apartment.
“Cassie you know who’s here. Open the door!” Matt was irritated already. He let out a loud sigh, straightening away from the door to run his fingers through his hair.
“No. You’ve got to say, ‘it’s the landlord come to collect the rent’.”
Huh, landlord. Scumbag more like! And he didn’t like it, not in the slightest.
Hoping none of the neighbors could hear him, he leaned toward the door and said quietly, “It’s the landlord come to collect the rent.”
“No, no … You have to be more forceful!” She didn’t unlock the door.
I’m going to throttle her before this night is through. He felt like a real idiot talking to her through the door, and he sure as hell didn’t want the neighbors coming out to see what was going on. He flushed just imagining the embarrassment. Losing patience, he banged on the door loudly. “Open the door, Cassie.” He’d had enough of this game already. “I’m not standing out here any longer.”
The door opened slowly and he surveyed her. Her arms were crossed defensively across her chest, and her lips were pinched with disapproval. She obviously wasn’t happy. Oh shit, now he was in trouble! Maybe if she had picked a happier or more romantic role, he might have been able to get into it, but he just couldn’t play someone out to take advantage. Morally it didn’t sit right.
“You’re not even trying to get into the role,” she accused, her lips pursed in displeasure.
“Well, it’s not a role I’m comfortable with,” he tried to explain. “Why can’t you pick something more conventional, something non-threatening?”
“Because that’s not what I fancy,” she snapped, her eyes flashing in anger.
“Well, I don’t fancy your rules, either.” They were going around in circles and getting nowhere. His temper was starting to fray with frustration at not being able to understand what she was looking for.
“Let’s forget it for tonight.” Knocking at the front door and feeling like an idiot had cooled his ardor. “It’s late, I’m tired.” Too bloody tired to play these kinds of games, but he didn’t say that to her.
“Well, maybe you should just go home now and get your beauty sleep!” She glared at him.
God, that hurt. Matt closed his eyes in despair and took a deep breath, composing himself before he replied. “I think we should talk about this before you send me home.” He really needed to be able to understand why role-play was so important to her. He had to make her open up and talk to him.
“What’s there to talk about?” With hands on her hips she stood looking up at him. “I want to experiment a little, you obviously don’t!”
Shit! “It’s not that I don’t,” he tried reasoning, “It’s just that I don’t understand why you would want… that?” Why did all the roles she asked him to play have to be abusive? Why did she always cast him as the baddie? They really needed to talk about this.
“Want what?” Cassie fired back. “You’d think I was asking for something kinky, something dangerous. I’m only after spicing up our love life a little.” He could tell she was getting up steam now.
Perhaps if he could just get her to sit down and talk about it, she would realize that the roles she picked for him just weren’t him. He didn’t see himself in the role of abuser. He could imagine himself playing other roles; roles were he got to play the take charge lover and make mad passionate love to her. Sure didn’t look like it was going to happen tonight though.
He put his hands up in a sign of surrender and backed slightly away from her. “Look at it from my point of view, Cassie,” he started. “Think about it. If you were really behind with the rent and the landlord came demanding sexual favors, are you going to satisfy him?”
“Of course not,” she snapped, eyes blazing. “Don’t be stupid! It’s a game we’re playing.” She threw her arms up in the air as if she couldn’t believe he would ask something so stupid.
“Well, why not if the idea turns you on?” he shouted at her.
“Because,” she took a deep breath before continuing through gritted teeth, as though he was being dense, “I don’t want to play games with my landlord. I don’t fancy him.”
“Listen to yourself,” he bit out. “If you did fancy him, would you oblige?” Christ, he hoped not!
“Now you’re being silly! It’s not like that, you’re just trying to twist my words,” she accused, and he felt guilty when he saw her eyes fill with tears.
He couldn’t bear the thought that he had reduced her to tears. He softened his tone, trying to reason with her, trying to get her to understand his point of view.
“No. I’m not trying to twist your words.” Matt shook his head, still trying to fathom her reasoning. “I’m just trying to make you understand why I can’t do this. It feels wrong, Cassie.” He held up his hand to stall her. “The thought of someone, the landlord, anyone demanding sexual favors because you owe them money turns my stomach.” He paced the room, unable to stand still in his agitated state. “I can’t get turned on by that idea, Cassie. Hell, I would want to beat crap out of the bastard; it’s abusive and immoral. I don’t understand how it can turn you on.” He looked at her perplexed.
Minutes before her face had been flushed a becoming pale pink with arousal. Now it was stained a darker tone with anger. Her arms were folded across her chest, hiding the nipples that only moments before had been begging to be kissed, and she was glaring at him.
“It’s only role-play, nothing else. Why can’t you see that?” She was pouting again.
“I can see that!” he retorted sharply. “It’s the kind of role-play you want to try that bothers me!”
“You just don’t want to play, that’s what you are really saying. You are quite happy with a vanilla sex life!” She spat the words, clearly disgusted with him. “I’m not discussing this any more tonight. I’m tired, I’ve had enough and I’m no longer in the mood.” Ouch, that hurt. “I’m going to bed.” She looked him straight in the eye and finished, “Alone.”
God, give me patience. Surely she wasn’t going to send him home just because he wouldn’t play along with her games. She was acting like a spoiled brat. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths to get himself under control. At that moment he could have quite happily put her across his knee and paddled her backside. Never in his life had he thought she could tempt him to spank her, but at that moment she was acting like a child who deserved a good spanking. The way she had been behaving lately, she might just like it. And he certainly wasn’t about to indulge her while he was in a temper.
“Okay, if that’s the way you want to play it,” he said carefully. “We’ll talk about this another time when you’ve calmed down.”
She nodded, not speaking to him.
Shit she really did mean to send him home!
He hated the idea of going home now. She would be left on her own to worry about their argument, convince herself that they were not right together. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to end up losing her. “Is it okay if I call myself a cab?” he snapped. Fear that she was going to end their relationship churned his stomach, and he couldn’t help that his question was abrupt.
He hadn’t taken her need to experiment sexually seriously; it obviously meant a lot more to her than he’d thought. He would really have to think about what she wanted, if he was serious about taking their relationship a stage further.
“Help yourself. I’m going to bed, so let yourself out.” She sounded mad as hell. “Lock up when the cab gets here. Goodnight.”
She walked away, and he was left standing alone as he watched her retreating toward the bedroom. He was stunned that the evening had come to this and vowed that he would make her sit down and talk the issue through when they had both calmed down.
He couldn’t relax and sit, so paced her living room while waiting for his cab to arrive. His muscles bunched tight with disappointment and frustration. He cast his eyes around the room and spied her stack of romance novels, the novels giving her all these stupid ideas. He felt like throwing them in the trash can, as if by getting rid of the books he could rid Cassie of the notion.
As he looked down at the stack the cover on the top book snagged his attention. The title ‘The Dom Who Loved Me’ caused him to pause. The Dom? Like BDSM? Cassie hadn’t mentioned wanting to experiment in that direction, at least he didn’t think that was what she had been getting at. He decided to sit down and have a look through the titles she had been reading.
What an eye opener. Cassie obviously had desires he hadn’t yet explored. All the books appeared to have the same theme. He read through the titles, My Master, His to Command, Slave to Submission. There was a definite pattern emerging and he began to wonder about the stories contained within the pages of her books.
He grabbed a couple and put them in his jacket pocket. Maybe if he read them, he could figure out exactly what it was about the idea of role-play that turned her on. Perhaps then he could come up a role-play scenario they could both enjoy.
He arrived back at his own apartment, bewildered, not able to believe the evening which had started off so well, had ended so badly. Unable to even think about sleep as he was still so wound up, not to mention sexually frustrated, he poured himself a drink and settled down to have a look at the books which he blamed for all their troubles.
Several hours later Matt finished the first of the books he had taken from Cassie’s apartment. The book had been an anthology of short stories, all of which were based around a BDSM club run by bikers. The men were all Dominant, the women submissive. No wonder she wanted to play. The stories she had been reading were sexy enough to turn a corpse on! He had taken himself in hand several times throughout the book, especially when the action heated up between a Master and sub.
Reading the book had done nothing to ease his frustration. Although some of the scenes had been, in his opinion, extreme and borderline abusive, a lot were more positive, emphasizing the fact that those within the BDSM scene had to have total trust in their partner. A submissive put all of her trust in her Dom; he in return ensured her sexual satisfaction and made sure that she was well taken care of in other ways. If what he had read was true, then a good Dom who knew what he was doing could actually get his submissive to orgasm on command. Christ, imagine that! Just the thought had him hard.
He vaguely recalled that on a guys’ night out several months earlier, a couple of his friends, slightly drunk at the time, had discussed the best clubs for those in the lifestyle. He did recall James saying that he and his girlfriend were stronger than ever before as a couple once they had begun to explore the lifestyle, as he called it. He would give James a ring tomorrow and get more information from him.
His trousers were already undone; the hard on he had had all the way through reading the book had not dissipated. He leaned back into the chair; spreading his legs. He fisted his rigid cock and closed his eyes. He could imagine Cassie down on her knees before him, her mouth wrapped around his rigid length as she took him deep into her throat. He stroked himself slowly at first, letting the fantasy carry him as he imagined the sensation of her tongue curling around his head, licking and kissing her way down the length of his erection. His legs trembled slightly and he smeared the bead of pre-cum down the length of his cock, before grasping himself tighter, imagining himself inside her warm moist body. As he stroked himself with greater urgency, he fantasized that he had Cassie kneeling between his legs as he commanded her to suck him faster and harder. Panting like he was running a marathon he stroked himself quicker and quicker as he reached for his release. Shit, he could feel his orgasm about to blow! His last thought before his ejaculation brought his brain to a screaming halt was that he would love to look in her eyes as she swallowed all he could give her.
As he lay in bed still unable to sleep, he pondered on exactly what it was Cassie was looking for. All the subs in her book got really turned on just by the act of submission. He began to suspect that what Cassie was really looking for was domination in the bedroom. She really wanted to submit, not role-play!
“Well honey, if that’s what you want… That’s what you’re going to get,” he murmured, before he fell asleep exhausted.